She passed away today I am sure every moment a backwards development from life. The fits and convulsions were earfuls of intense pain and agony only to come to long enough to realize she had no idea what was going on but enough internal disease to know something might happen again. Shivering,sh,sh,sh,sh,sh,ivering, so much. We stopped feeding her because she quit eating. She would never wake up! Seizure, sleep, seizure, sleep. Pretty soon she was gone mentally I could tell after we stopped hearing her small cries for help after her first few seizures. Her face so scared, asking with every look to make it stop. We couldn’t do anything nor could we find anyone who might know the answer because they actually knew.
People tell you things even if they have no idea what the real answer is here. Ask someone where something is and they will say 4 blocks away. Ask another person and they will tell you go back to where you asked the first person.
Circles here in this city. People run circles, sweating not so much from intense labor but from walking circles in the heat trying to make things work. Things aren’t easy here.
Nothing is really baddabing baddaboom. It’s kind of like badda…….badda…..baddabi……baddabing……. baddabing badda……baddabing badda…… except that now either badda got stolen or it broke so now we are back to just baddabing……baddabing……..finally baddabing baddaboom because in one day everything managed to flow, everyone showed up on time and every part of the whole project just somehow worked.
I took her sunken, soaked body in a plastic bag and I threw her away. I wasn’t quite expecting to come to Nicaragua to witness the long, slow death of a kitten suffering from disease inflicted convulsions but I suppose at this point no matter what happens, it is what it is and it is all a part of the same thing. I will remember her, I will remember her fight, I will remember that her name was Salvadora and that one day we saved her. The next we were powerless.